Agency
by auroraziazan
Summary: Severus knew it would be difficult to change over. He didn't know the extent of the temptation, though, and how hard the choices presented would be.
1. Freedom First

Freedom First

  
  


It's always there. The temptation, the desire, for that's often how it presents itself, as a deep, carnal desire. The years of heavy, dark magic that have woven themselves into his soul slowly creep into his mind. It would be so easy to listen to them. Safety, for one. He was already beginning to be suspect, but it wouldn't take much to get himself back in everyone's good graces. He had once been right up there, near the top of the heap. Never second-in-command, exactly, but as good as. 

And now he had so much more to give then he had before. Of course he had added twelve years of research and experience, but he now had something that none of the rest could offer. He would be exalted, he would be rewarded. Above the faithful Wormtail. Above the executioner Macnair. And even above Lucius, who had the entire Ministry tied to his purse strings. For what are the secrets Cornelius Fudge compared to those of Albus Dumbledore? 

It would feel so good, to access the power again. He hadn't forgotten a thing these long years, and he was sure it would only take one good hex to bring back all the diligently practiced wand work. There were so many new potions now, potions that he knew he alone of their number could brew properly. And of course, the Lord would know that. It would be so much easier for the Dark Lord if he felt he could give him tasks, like those he had received in the old days. He could probably brew most of those potions in his sleep, drugged though it is.

Regardless of his power, it had always been easier to lie to Albus. Probably because Albus didn't use the Cruciatus, or Veritaserum. Albus trusted him, whatever he said. If he said that he needed to brew a few things to get back in the know, that his loyalties were being questioned, then it would be "Go ahead, Severus, as long as you're sure of yourself."

And there certainly were people that it would be nice not to feel obliged to protect. The Weasley brats for one, and young Potter. Black had already dealt with himself, of course, but Lupin was still there. Oh, no sir, I didn't hear anything about that, they must've not wanted me for that raid. To finally extract his revenge for the quarter century of hell they had put him through. It would be so satisfying.

He set down his glass stirring rod and lifted his sleeve, tracing the edges of the mark with his finger. It had been irritating him lately. Not that it really hurt, nothing more than usual, but it's mere presence there was bothering him. Perhaps these spells were finally getting to his mind, and while he thought in a way so treacherously to his body, it would be a torment. Only one way to stop that, of course.

He pushed down his sleeve again and picked up the stirring rod. He was reaching towards the cauldron when he heard a loud thump on the outside of his office door, and then a terrific explosion barely registered in his mind before the far wall of his workroom burst inwards and the ceiling stones tumbled down.

  
  
  
  


A/N: This is one that I intend to continue, but it won't be really long. I'm writing this as I go, so suggestions will be considered. I've gotten kind of hooked on dark!fics as of late. Tell me what you think of it, and what you think Sev should decide.

  
  


Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. JKR does, as is apparent by how much richer she is than me.


	2. Rolling Doubles

Rolling Doubles

  
  


Severus opened his eyes. He blinked several times, but it didn't seem to be making a difference, except that when they were open, more dust got in them. There was a dull pain in his head, a sharp one at the base of his skull, and several more dull ones scattered around his body. He tilted to the side slowly, attempting to remove some of the large stones still resting on his back. He could still see nothing, but now felt that he could at least move enough to pull his wand out.

"Lumos," he uttered quietly, and watched as the familiar cold moon glow emitted from the tip. There was an eerie stillness around him, and he couldn't see very far, as the air was full of dust and bits of falling mortar. Every few seconds, he would hear the echoing crash of another rock falling from the ceiling. It was in a pause between several of these that he began to hear the whimpering.

Severus Snape despised whimpering. He momentarily considered finding whatever creature was so incompetent as to do so in his presence and put it out of its misery, but he quickly remembered that it was either a student or a teacher, neither of which would it have been acceptable to kill on school property. Using a convenient charm, he managed to collect and banish much of the dust from the air. It was far easier to distinguish the shapes on the floor when they were more than shadows. There was a large pile of debris right outside what had been his office door, that seemed to be on top of a person. That person seemed to have gotten a few more hits than he.

And the whimpering was getting louder. Perhaps he ought to go see if he could legitimately end the suffering of whomever that was. Or perhaps, they were badly injured enough that he really could justify a swift clubbing to the head. Morgana, that sound irked him. He neared the body, kicking stones out of his way as he went. They seemed to drown out that infernal noise, at least. And then there was a squelch, and he looked down, and saw that he was standing in a growing pool of blood. Raising his eyes to the gaping hole that had once been a ceiling, he muttered "You couldn't have made this simple, could you?"

He began lifting the stones of the battered body. It only took a few for him to realize, of course, that it was Miss Granger. She was on her face, luckily for her, or she would have had almost no chance for survival. "Miss Granger? Miss Granger, can you hear me?"

A minute passed, and her whimpers seemed to increase. Then, and indistinct "Mm hmm."

"Miss Granger, you have been wounded. You are bleeding heavily. Allow me to inspect your injuries."

"Mm hmm," again, this time reenforced by a minuscule movement of her head. 

He didn't really trust moving her, considering her state, and so did a rapid series of transparency spells, allowing him to see inside of her. And it wasn't pretty. Four ribs appeared to be broken, along with bruising of several internal organs. Her legs seemed smashed, as was her right hand, and in it her wand. The blood was coming from a gash on her forehead. "If you would be so kind as to desist in your childish wailing, I might find myself able to treat you." 

Finally, something that shut her up. "I am not optimistic about this healing. You have been badly injured, and I think even with Poppy's skill a full recovery would be unlikely. And Poppy's skill would be largely in administering a select few of my potions, none of which we have access to now. I know of one spell besides superficial healing and pain relieving charms, and it is a spell that will not come cheaply to either of us. There is every possibility it will not work, it is likely to have unpleasant side effects, but I can promise you that it will take away the pain. Consider carefully, Miss Granger, for it's your life either way."

There was a long pause, and I grew increasingly impatient. Finally, I caught her barely audible croak, of "Anything," before she seemed to collapse back into the floor.

So that is your decision. Anything. Rarely the right decision, and seldom a wise one, but so you have chosen. I rolled up my sleeves again and began the words of the incantation.

  
  
  
  


Disclaimer: I continue not to own these characters.

  
  


Author's Notes: This is going to continue to be a dark!fic, and I don't think it will be a romance, though that's always a possibility. And we will return to evil monologues (and evil bake sales) soon.

  
  


Thanks to those who reviewed-

  
  


pixieindisguise - Thanks for your suggestion. I probably will, but there are a few things we need to see about first.

  
  


bafmbabe - I'll finish it if nice reviewers keep responding. I've grown a little too fond of cliff-hangers for my own good.

  
  


KristalBlazeJerikor - Thank you. I'm glad you liked it. I'm posting this one as-I-go, so there might end up being gaps between chapters occasionally.

  
  


Sarah - Thank you for your review. I hope this fulfills some expectations.

  
  


Kerbi - What did you think of the rest of it?

  
  


Lady Laughing Owl - Well, yes, it's my choice, but I often like to follow popular opinion. My writing isn't always that dark, but it's fun sometimes.

  
  


kmorse - Well, I'm not sure if this particular Snape is a "good guy" or a "nice guy." And of course, you aren't either, because he was about to make a rather important decision when his office blew up.

  
  


Paladin Starfire - Well, he's a traitor to someone, we are yet to see who.

  
  


JediHermione - I'm very pleased that you liked it so much. It's hard to make a middle of the line Snape without pushing him over either way. And of course, every decision has to be carefully calculated. 

  
  


ArchArtist/Writer - Thank you exceedingly much for that review. That's the sort of thing that just makes my day. I am doing my best to keep the characterizations clean, but they might have to adapt a little bit as the plot gets weird.

  
  


Green Eyed Lady - Thank you for giving suggestions bluntly. Though, the thing is, Sevie has to figure out for himself if it does matter day-to-day, which side he's fighting for and which side he believes in. And if it will matter in the bigger picture. And he does have rather a superiority/inferiority complex, as you say. Perhaps he's trying to compensate for something... *grins cheekily* Somehow I doubt the request for a third chance would go very well. If he goes, it'll be a little too late for absolution, even from Dumbledore. I actually did think I wanted the present tense, but I changed that whole sentence around some. Thank you very much for your compliments, threats, and warnings. They have a lot of influence on this, really.

  
  


Slytherin's Silver Snake - Though, with OOTP, we know Dumbledore can't kill Voldemort, unfortunately. What does IMO stand for? Anyway, thanks for your opinion. 


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